he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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