playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
