I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
