She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Life is so much better after having sex.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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