at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I think i peed on brittanys purse
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
