You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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