I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
