Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
