He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize