ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
