You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
