Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
