operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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