don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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