Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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