I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize