I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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