How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
