I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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