after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
