You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
