You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
