I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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