Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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