did you get engaged???
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
