I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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