I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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