And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
