You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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