meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
