My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
