OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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