was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I am available for nakedness
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
