hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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