They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
where are you?
Hypothermia
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Randomize
