Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
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