Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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