Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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