In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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