You made me cry and you don't even care
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
