my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
