I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
