i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
