Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
