nut hugger
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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