Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
