Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
