i don't like sucking hair
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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