I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
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