So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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