New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
