my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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