Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
